A CASE OF THE 20'S

(Originally posted April 16, 2019)

On Sunday I was at a dog’s birthday party- yes it was equally unnecessary as it was adorable and fun. It was here that I was talking to the mother-of-the-dog’s cousin (oh yes, of course family attended) about our struggles with #chronicillness while trying to navigate our 20’s. 

“Your 20’s suck no matter who you are. You don’t know what you want but you’re expected to know… it’s overwhelming. I know everyone experiences it, but that doesn’t make it easier.”

I processed the statement she made and thought about it on a wider scale. The pressure to “figure it out” is something that weighs heavily on young adults as they navigate through the beginning of the rest of their lives. Several of my friends are going through it. My sister felt paralyzed by her indecision. I’m in my fifth year at a community college (mostly because of my chronic illness), but I still face uncertainty about the choices I’ll have to be making. We all have a case of the 20’s.

Grown adults know the stress that comes with growing up. We know the stress of growing up. So why do we act like it’s shameful not to know what we want for the rest of our lives? I’ve felt such embarrassment when I’m asked, “What’s your major?” “What are you going to do for your career?” or “When are you graduating?” and “What do you do for work?” and I shouldn’t feel ashamed with my answers!

I’m here to tell you something that I’m sure you’ve been told hundreds of times- IT’S. OKAY. NOT. TO. KNOW! What’s more important? Checking in on yourself to make sure that you’re making forward progress. Ask yourself:

“Do I have goals?”

“Do I have the drive to make my goals a reality?”

“Am I willing to work toward figuring it out?

“Will I let my fear and stress consume me?”

As long as you’re traveling down your road, chipping away at life at a pace that works for you, the opinions of others shouldn’t matter. Plus, these people with judgmental opinions probably have felt like you do! So, shame on them.

It’s easy for me to look in the mirror and see a 23-year-old failure because I’m God knows how many semesters away from earning my degree. But I am on my own journey. It is not the journey of my friend from high school who has graduated from college and has an established career. It’s not being embarrassed when I share a prerequisite class with an 18 year-old. It’s my journey. It’s my path. When we decide to pride ourselves for our efforts and baby steps that have gotten us through to where we are now, is when we will feel confident enough to explore what will answer the question that has given us so much trouble.

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop” - #Confucius