A PHYSICAL/MENTAL HEALTH CONNECTION

It's not a secret that your physical health impacts your mental health and vice versa. When you're not taking care of your health, problems manifest themselves in new ways. Your body literally tries everything it can to wake you up and tell you, "hey! There are things we really need to address that you're ignoring!"

I'm no doctor or psychologist, but I have experienced the mental/physical health connection first hand. When I began getting my migraines it wasn't long before my mental health suffered. I started experiencing bouts of anxiety to the point of crying, deep depression that included thoughts of suicide and a severe lack of interest in activities I used to love. I put my guitar away, stopped singing and eventually stopped playing volleyball, to name a few.

With my mental health mirroring how poorly I felt physically with my migraines and gastrointestinal issues, it's not hard to believe that I secluded myself from old friends and found myself in a relationship that was not good for me. It was toxic and borderline abusive, and he was in just as poor of a mental state as I was.

I began losing weight. I think I thought that if I lost weight I'd be happier and it would at least make me feel like I looked better than I felt. I truly felt like I was suffering through anorexia. I'd purposely only eat one small meal a day, and that was when my family was home to see me "taking care of myself". It would purposely be so no one noticed what I was doing to myself. My migraines consumed me and my sadness and anger fueled my days. I found comfort in one person who I felt had my best interests at heart, but really just used my vulnerability for emotional manipulation.

After spending a long time feeling upset, the relationship ended and I took mental inventory of my overall state. It was not good. So I worked on communicating with my loved ones, rebuilding my body image and reassessing my state of being.

I worked on improving my state of mind-- the time I spent being a pessimist was not serving me any good. I began writing in a gratitude journal and being thankful for everything I had, versus being upset over everything I thought I had lost due to migraines.

With my healthier state of mind, I began a new relationship with someone who supported me in all the best ways. I found healthy outlets like working out and drawing. I truly believe that I owe a lot to this person for showing me that there is someone out there for me that will support and love me on my bad days just as much as the days I'm feeling good and like my true self. Although that relationship ended, I am still thankful for that love I received.

Mental health is something that has to be worked on every single day. Every day

I feel like I wake up and make the conscious decision to be thankful for all the positives in my life. I also take medications to help me with this effort. Healthy body image is also something that requires daily work. I remember when I felt like I had achieved the body I wanted. My strong volleyball legs that I always thought were too big were unrecognizable. My round face with big happy cheeks was gone. I was tired all the time. I went on a hike (hardly strenuous) with my friend and I was so weak I threw up.

Now I appreciate the strong body I have and what it enables me to do. I love that I am healthy and my thighs touch, or that when I laugh really hard, my round face gets a little double chin. I let myself eat when I'm hungry and I refuse to deprive myself of essential fuel for my body and even make room for fun foods too (hello ice cream and french fries!). Although I still struggle sometimes with wishing my belly looked perfect in a bathing suit, my happiness and well being are so much more important! My migraines are a neurological condition that cannot be cured, but I have so much I can try to help to ease that stress on my body and spirit.

To everyone who struggles: it's not your fault. But please listen to your body's clues when it tries to send you important messages. Your body cries out for help in ways it knows that we will notice. Those messages can come in the form of anxious stomach aches, sudden lack of interest, headaches or mood swings. Please don't neglect your health! It sounds cheesy, but you really do only get one body in your lifetime, so love and nurture it.