COMMUNICATION IS KEY

That’s the saying, right? Why can it be so hard, especially when you’re trying to communicate with someone who is important to you? You’d think that since those relationships are meaningful, working out problems would be a no brainer.

What I think we all fail to realize sometimes is that everyone communicates differently. The way you are with one person may not be the way another person operates.

I have the most amazing group of friends. We just get each other, but it hasn’t always been this way. As we all grow up and change, our friendships need to grow and adapt to those changes. If we don’t know how to properly communicate with each other, our relationships are bound to fail.

"Lack of communication ruins everything because instead of knowing how the other is feeling, we just assume" -Unknown

I’ve learned that communication can’t be avoided. I tried sweeping a lot under the rug when it came to my longest friendship. She and I acted like our friendship was perfect, when in reality we had lots of things that we hadn’t talked about. We’d unknowingly hurt each other over the years but we’d never spoken to each other about it. One night, a tiny disagreement blew the top off of our 15+ year friendship. We were yelling, crying and airing out every piece of dirty laundry possible. She and I couldn’t believe how far back some of these issues went. We admitted that we should have been talking about what was bothering us, even if the confrontation is uncomfortable. Once we finally opened that door to talk things out, I know we’re maintaining a much healthier friendship that doesn’t need any repressed emotions.

The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding" -Unknown

Communication isn't a universal language. As I’ve gotten older, the way I communicate is straightforward and direct. I might go as far as saying I’m blunt and give out tough love. One of the toughest conversations I’ve had was repairing a friendship with someone I’d hurt with my honesty. Even though I had never meant to hurt her feelings, my friend is much more sensitive and when communicating with her, I needed to be more understanding. What I intended to portray in my talk with her was nothing but love, but my bluntness made my friend interpret it as an attack. This misunderstanding lead to almost losing her friendship, which was the last thing I wanted. When she and I finally talked about fixing things, I realized that not everyone thinks the way I do. If someone delivered news in a way that is too sweet, I feel like they’re patronizing me, but my friend needs that sensitivity. This lesson about communication is probably the most important one I’ve learned so far.

"You can't resolve anything unless you are willing to treat someone else's words as important as your own" -Michelle Farris

Losing friendships because we don’t know how to communicate happens all too often. Whether it’s bottled up feelings or he said/she said, lack of sensitivity or differences in personality, losing a friend is never easy. Communicating is a tough skill to hone in on, but it really is key, and it really does make a difference. When you can be honest and open with people, you allow yourself to bond and grow with others. So let’s keep talking it out, y’all, and strengthen those interpersonal skills!

xoxo,

CC